was quite upset about Pip's death. i was going to the cage to feed him and as usual, my goal was to open the cage with minimal disturbance, remove the bottles for refilling and spill in the food before either Pip or Squik woke up. well, actually i've only succeeded once. and that was when i was doing Pip's cage. but anyway, on that saturday, Pip didn't even stir after my ritual. thought that i was getting super good at being quiet. then i completed the routine by peeking into the cage to see hm sleeping in his little corner. then, i realised his chest wasn't moving, wasn't breathing. i panicked. started to blow air in the body's direction to wake the sleepyhead up. tried shifting the cage to shake him up. then about a minute later, i realised something was really wrong. was
went to mum to tell her. don't know if she could see i was upset. haha. she told me to clear the cage and throw the body away in the rubbish chute. if i had a choice, i would've opted a nicer funeral; maybe bury him in a backyard and place a "+" twig over the site. but living on the sixteenth floor in a HDB flat has its drawbacks. so i cleared everything up and settled it with the chute. i think Pip died in his sleep. his eyes were closed. that's a huge relief to me. would probably have many sleepless nights if they weren't.
a week and a half later when my mum helped me purchase food for Squik, she asked if i've fed her with the not-yet-run-out packet. i answered "no" from my room and i think that kinda annoyed my 'lil sister 'cos she made a remark like "are they even alive?" or something like that. haha. then i got irritated and started scolding her(sorry meimei, didn't realise then that you were unaware..). i think i hadn't gotten over Pip's death yet, then. think it hadn't even hit me that he's gone. yeah. oh, well. then later that afternoon, dad came to me and said that he didn't know about Pip's death. he was really nice about it and even offered to pray with me. but i just thanked him and turned the offer down. still don't know why i did that but maybe i thought i'd get over it my way instead.
but i guess i'm aiight now. i washed up Squik's cage today. spent a whole hour on it. haha. wanted to make it perfect, y'know. haha. yeah. i'm aiight now.
i wished that Pip would've just 'hung in there' a month more. he and Squik were a birthday present from a dear friend three years ago. it's funny how time flies. that person was a really close friend to me. could talk about lotsa stuff and he'd write some interesting fiction that we'd exchange just for reads/just for laughs. he did pretty well for the 'O's, got 9points, initially wanted to go to Poly to study to be an optometrist, later realised he actually if he wanted to, he'd have to take 'A' level Biology. went off to JJ. we promised to alternate calling every week. i can't remember now whether it was him or i who missed a turn. anyway, back then jc life'd just started and for me settling in to the college lifestyle was a mad rush; i was probably the one who forgot to call. resorted to keeping in touch by chatting on MSN but that didn't quite work out. we were either take turns to be busy or i when i felt the both of us were finally free to chat, i didn't know what to say. there were times when i felt that calling him would just be a waste of time and i didn't want to disturb him from mugging. eventually, just managed to keep the last thread of connectivity by updating him on my hammies once in a while. initially when Pip died, i was at a loss 'cos that would mean we'd not even have ANYTHING to talk about. but well, i'm aiight now. :l
